


A Different Man

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Series: Unexpected Love [3]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Illness, alternate series of events, season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 13:46:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15909444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: Ed's instincts tell him to close the door in his face and never speak to him again, but despite the changes this is still Oswald. This is still the man he finds himself in love with.





	A Different Man

Ed feels this sort of ice cold dread as he stares at the man standing before him; by all reason and basic logic the man standing outside his apartment is Oswald Cobblepot. Yet he can’t help but think of the movie about the body snatchers who could fake the voice and appearance of your friends and family, but in reality, were just monsters Hell bent on eating you.

That’s how Ed feels now that he stands here looking at Oswald who is wearing the same clothes he’d worn the last time he’d seen him; the clothes belong to Ed, he’d given them to him knowing he’d need them, but now the clothes are stained with white feathers and black tar. Oswald’s hair is greasy tangled mess, and yet he still is smiling up at him. 

A voice in his head tells him that he needs to slam the door in Oswald’s face; he’s soft spoken and stammering, polite, and acting as if the humiliation Gilzean and Tabitha put him through wasn’t all that bad. Honestly, he reminds Ed of himself, the way he was just a year ago before he found power in killing. He fears that Oswald and his talk of reform, talk that sounds like a religious nut following you around in San Francisco hell bent on saving your damned soul. He knows he should shove him away, never speak to him again, but he’s his friend. Ed thinks of the times they would kiss, the way they kissed before Oswald went to seek revenge on Theo for what he did to him. He thinks of how sad and broken Oswald had been in the holding cell, terrified when they dragged him off to Arkham where a new doctor named Hugo Strange had experimented on him like some rat.

Ed steps to the side, he gestures for Oswald to come inside and the smaller man happily obliges. He hears a voice spit at him that he’s a dumb ass, that this is a bad idea, but he can’t help it. He closes and locks the door, Oswald’s looking at him, and Ed has difficulties determining what he’s thinking or feeling.

“They uh really did a number on you in there didn’t they?”

Oswald chuckles, he looks down at the floor. Ed wonders if this is what sanity looks like or maybe this is a new form of insanity.

“Th-they say I’m better.”

He wants to ask him exactly what they did to him, did they hurt him?

‘You know that they did.’

“Right….Well no offense but you really do look quite dreadful. You can go ahead and take a bath, I know my clothes don’t fit you too well but you’re more than welcome to them.” Ed rambles, he nervously picks at his cuticles tearing at skin he already picks way too much.

Oswald thanks him, Ed watches as he heads towards the bathroom closing the door behind him. Ed goes to the small kitchen, he decides to busy himself with preparing tea; if he busies himself then he doesn’t have to dwell on the voice in his head telling him that this is a mistake, that Oswald is a lost cause, and just maybe they should put him out of his misery. 

He startles when he feels a hand on his back, the touch gentle. He turns to see Oswald standing behind him; he’s wearing one of Ed’s old t-shirts and checkered sleep pants that are rather big on him. Ed feels that sort of heavy thumping in his chest when he looks at him, he knows the feeling, and it scares him. He can’t help himself, he places a hand against Oswald’s cheek and his friend leans into his touch nuzzling against the palm of his hand. 

“I missed you.” Ed says, his voice breathy. He wants to say that he still misses him, because in so many ways this is not the man he shared a bed with for a month.

Oswald looks up at him, his smile is gentle and sad. “I missed you too.”

There’s a sense of relief hearing those words, he wants to apologize. He wants to tell him that he should have done something to rescue him from that Hell hole, he should have burned the place to the ground, and rescued him. He feels like he’s staring at a ghost.

Oswald moves closer to him; his body is pressed against his and Ed’s breath hitches in his throat for a moment. He places a hand against the other man’s hip, holds him against him, and so many memories flood his mind. There are three words that are on the tip of his tongue, but he’s terrified to speak them. Instead the words melt and fade when he presses his lips against Oswald’s, his tongue presses into his mouth, and he prays he can feel that he loves him. He wraps his arms around him holding him there against him, he softly moans when he feels Oswald tugging at his hair pulling him down needing him more. Ed’s pressed back against the counter, he slides his hand up under his friend’s shirt, Oswald tenses and pulls away from him.

“Sorry.” Ed mutters, he feels ashamed of himself.

Oswald shakes his head, he gives a smile as if trying to play it off. “It’s okay, I um I just….You’re actually the only person I’ve felt comfortable with before.” 

Ed places a hand on his shoulder, he leans down pressing a kiss against his forehead. “It’s okay, I’m glad that you feel comfortable with me.”

He has questions about Arkham; he wants to know what the experiments they performed on him were, he wants to know if this is how he is forever, or if this is just temporary. For a second he worries that Oswald being like this might ruin whatever they had before, whatever they could have had, but he can’t imagine himself just throwing him to the wayside like that. 

“Did you make tea?” He asks looking behind him at the two cups setting on the counter.

Ed steps to the side, “Oh I nearly forgot, I thought maybe you’d like some. I can make you something to eat too if you’re hungry.” He picks up one of the cups and hands it off to him.

“That’s okay, I’ve had a difficult time eating lately actually.” He softly confesses.

Ed worries about that, he worries about a lot of things when it comes to Oswald.

He grabs his own cup and leads Oswald over towards the bed where they sit with their backs against the metal headboard, Oswald sits close by his side and Ed recalls quite a few evenings and nights spent a lot like this, but half those times it was cheap wine instead of tea. 

“Do you mind me asking exactly what they did to you in there?” 

Oswald takes a sip of his drink, he keeps his eyes downcast and Ed considers telling him he doesn’t have to answer the question if he doesn’t want to.

“Pills, shots too usually in my forearm but sometimes in the side of my neck. Then there was this kind of headset they would put on me and….” He trails off, he closes his eyes and Ed can tell he’s reliving it in his own mind.

He places a hand on his leg, wants him to know he doesn’t have to talk about this if he isn’t comfortable.

“I’m sorry.” Ed whispers.

Oswald opens his eyes and looks up at him confused. “Why are you sorry, I went willingly.”

“I had a gut feeling something bad would happen to you after you left my apartment.”

“What if this isn’t bad though, maybe this is a sign I can….I can start over again. I can try and be a good man for once in my life, be the kind of person my mom wanted me to be.” 

Pieces of the puzzle click together for Ed at hearing that. “She was proud of you regardless.”

Oswald shakes his head. “That night when Maroni told her about me, about the things I’d done….She…She was so distressed and I couldn’t help but be terrified that she would stop loving me if she really knew the truth. My lifestyle, my career lead to her death.”

He wants to tell him that isn’t true, but he knows that Oswald’s mistakes and his life of crime had a heavy hand in her murder. He wants to lie and comfort him, he wants to skin Dr. Strange alive for the god awful things he did to him.

Ed sets his cup down on the bedside table, he turns to face his friend who for the first time since showing up looks solemn, a lot like he did in the first week they lived together. He reaches out and gently strokes his fingers against the side of his neck, there’s slight scarring at the injection sites. Oswald tenses for just a moment before relaxing as if reminding himself of who is touching him, that he’s safe again. Oswald looks up at him, forces a smile and Ed wants to tell him it’s okay if he’s sad or pissed off.

“I want you to know that you can stay here for as long as you want to, move in even if you want, but it’s completely understandable if you don’t want to do that. I just, I really want you to know that….I love you.” The words eventually tumble out, he can’t help but smile even though he’s absolutely terrified that he could be rejected.

Oswald stares at him for a moment as if registering the words, registering that he can be loved.

‘Or you disgust him.’

He sets his own cup to the side then wraps his arms tightly around Ed hugging him close, in a moment he’s curled up on his lap with his arms wrapped around his waist and his face buried in the side of his neck. Ed takes this as a positive sign especially when he feels gentle kisses against the side of his neck, he holds him back realizing once more that he missed him.

“I love you too.” He eventually says against the side of his neck, warm breath tickling his skin.

It’s the happiest and saddest Ed’s ever felt in his life.


End file.
